Thursday, March 13, 2008

Present

Looks like my quiet week at home has translated to a pretty quiet blog. I'm sorry if that's left any of you feeling out of the loop. Yesterday I spent my first day at home alone, with no appointments, plans or visitors. It was great to not think about the clock and just be lazy. Plus, Mark got home quite early. When he called to say he was on his way, he asked if I could cue up the ipod so that we could have a little dance right when he walked in the door. It was perfect and something I think we'll be repeating.

Today my mom joined me again. I must be doing a lot of healing because I was sleeping like a rock when she called at 10. So groggy me and mom watched some Northanger Abbey and Pride and Prejudice. I was feeling so fantastic, pain med free, that I made the lunch. Well. I heated the soup that lovely L.E. brought us but I did make the grilled cheese sandwiches. Speaking of cheese, I was deciding what to put between those pieces of sourdough and I realized we have TEN different kinds of cheese in the fridge. Yeah. Oh! sorry, S.S. just brought over some smoked gouda, make that eleven. Don't ever let me tell you we're not living the good life.

Tomorrow we'll pop in on General Surgeon Dr. S and hope that he and the pathologist have had some productive conversations. It's been odd not thinking about cancer much this week. It's not really over yet, but it's not time to do anything. How do you just sit back and relax with your cancer? It's not welcome. Focusing on healing has been helpful. Watching my limitations since surgery fall away day by day have been uplifting and empowering. And thinking of the rest as preparation for the next step, whatever that is. I'm going to attack whatever I can, rip to shreds whatever needs killing, when I'm ready. Tonight, listen to the mockingbird and smell the pink jasmine. Tomorrow, fight for my life.

3 comments:

amalthea said...

I love you.

Wayne said...

Hello Jess and Mark,

Wayne and I just heard about everything that you two have had to go through in the last month. We are both so sorry for what you've had to endure but want to congratulate you for getting through this far.

I read all of your blogs and got emotional. It is so rare to see two people so in love with so much perspective on their lives at such a young age. You two are truly an inspiration. I want you to know that out of this really crappy situation, you will likely have changed peoples lives for the better. Both of us want to send you tons of good thoughts and energy!

Please, please don't hesitate to lean on us for anything. I know we haven't kept in touch since residency but I'm frequently getting updates on you two from Jeff and really do care how you are doing so am so thankful that you felt you could share this with us. Well, that's all for now. Just keep smiling and we'll all hope for continued good news ahead!

Thanks,
Chhavi and Wayne

jessica said...

It is so good to hear fro you guys!! Thank you.