Present

Looks like my quiet week at home has translated to a pretty quiet blog. I'm sorry if that's left any of you feeling out of the loop. Yesterday I spent my first day at home alone, with no appointments, plans or visitors. It was great to not think about the clock and just be lazy. Plus, Mark got home quite early. When he called to say he was on his way, he asked if I could cue up the ipod so that we could have a little dance right when he walked in the door. It was perfect and something I think we'll be repeating.

Today my mom joined me again. I must be doing a lot of healing because I was sleeping like a rock when she called at 10. So groggy me and mom watched some Northanger Abbey and Pride and Prejudice. I was feeling so fantastic, pain med free, that I made the lunch. Well. I heated the soup that lovely L.E. brought us but I did make the grilled cheese sandwiches. Speaking of cheese, I was deciding what to put between those pieces of sourdough and I realized we have TEN different kinds of cheese in the fridge. Yeah. Oh! sorry, S.S. just brought over some smoked gouda, make that eleven. Don't ever let me tell you we're not living the good life.

Tomorrow we'll pop in on General Surgeon Dr. S and hope that he and the pathologist have had some productive conversations. It's been odd not thinking about cancer much this week. It's not really over yet, but it's not time to do anything. How do you just sit back and relax with your cancer? It's not welcome. Focusing on healing has been helpful. Watching my limitations since surgery fall away day by day have been uplifting and empowering. And thinking of the rest as preparation for the next step, whatever that is. I'm going to attack whatever I can, rip to shreds whatever needs killing, when I'm ready. Tonight, listen to the mockingbird and smell the pink jasmine. Tomorrow, fight for my life.